August 4th Wyldfyre Message

“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let them know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”(James 5:19-20)

I was recently told by a friend that this verse reminded them of me. That is such a great thing to hear! It is such a privilege to be a part of God’s work in that person’s life. It’s things like this, I am told that allow me to be a great leader and have many people look up to me. I get told often that I am a godly guy just because people want to encourage me. I feel like many people want that title “godly guy” or “godly girl”.

“Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth.” (James 5:17).

Elijah was like us. Elijah doesn’t have a leg up on anyone. If people wanted to be like me they could be. I was addicted to pornography for over half of my ministry at South Hills Church. I ignored texts from everyone at one point or another. I ignored people that were crying because it was an inconvenience. I have rebuked many but not in love, but in pride. I missed ministry meetings because I just don’t like meetings. I am so selfish. People admire me for the things I want in life which are: to find a wife, plant churches for Christ internationally, see many people come to know Christ. I was so happy with those things until about a month ago when God leveled me. All of these things I want but I DON’T WANT GOD. I want THIS and THIS but NOT YOU GOD! I want Your things! You stay out of this! Who says that?

I do.

You can be like me but I am begging you not to be. The reason why Elijah was Elijah was because he just wanted God. I’m begging you to not put your hope in me or the person that I have become because it will fail you.

I have failed you.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)

I am so sorry. I have apologized to God for my apathy towards you. I know there were moments when I may have said something godly or encouraged you in some way or prayed for you or gave you wise counsel but that was not me. My mouth is an open grave. I’m sorry for allowing my sinfulness to get in the way of loving you and God. Thank you for showing me how much I need a savior.